Make Dua, This Break-Up Needs To Happen

Subhannallah! There is this relationship I cannot wait to get out of! I have tried everything, taking a break, needing space, setting boundaries everything,nothing has worked. These things usually work in the beginning, but the minute I relax like this, it is over!

It all started at my first job, I was young, passionate, creative and maybe a little too hardworking .I learnt to put in everything without realizing that I was setting the stage for a relationship that will be hard to let go of. It benefitted my employers then and they encouraged me to stay. After being on the A list more than once, experiencing promotions and the best life, I was sure, I was in the right relationship. Little did I know that it will be hard to let go.

Can you please help me tell work to LEAVE ME ALONE?

It's been 5 years plus on this journey of not being a workaholic and I'm still in recovery mode. I've resigned, worked part-time, not worked at all but some of these traits are still there. 

Sometimes it isn’t just work, it is any project I am working on. Alhamdullilahi I do feel like it is not as bad as before though. At least now I can go for weeks without work-related projects and not feel like the world is coming to an end. What triggered it’s presence for me though, was a review of the impact of a new project on my table.

 I'm concerned for sure but not sad, because I'm pretty determined to put work in its rightful position. It is one thing and not everything. I have realised that the solution isn't to let go of work entirely, because I take the same mindset/approach to even voluntary projects but to set clear boundaries and know where to draw the line.

My teacher said something in class on Saturday that really struck me. As she taught us about Allah's name, Al Muti' ,she explained that Allah's giving is not as a result of our efforts or how much we put in. She explained that even though we are encouraged to work hard ,we must understand that that's for us and not Allah. He doesn't need our efforts, experience or knowledge etc. to give us. His giving is not bound by anything. Listening to her speak just gave me a brain reset and I'm like hmmm..that deals with my insecurities on how I relate with work.

Look, if you're like me and work is trying to be your everything, I encourage you to start your detachment journey early enough.. Don't get too attached ,start letting go. The greater the habit becomes the harder it is to break...But you can start now. Just let go.

Some things that work for me from time to time are:

1. Listing out all my activities in a day: This helps me see them in detail and make sure they don't all revolve around work. Whenever I default on this, work takes over .lol. It also also helps me schedule family and friend catch ups as well.

2. Reviewing my Solah : Actually rate each Solah, my thoughts show me what my mind is preoccupied with.

3. Celebrating my wins from other areas of my life, study, family time etc

4. Schedule Dhikr Into My Day: This is one habit I'm still struggling with but I've noticed really helps me actually take a break.

5. Writing Gratitude Notes: Start and stick with it! It is easy peasy, get a piece of paper and pen simply write all you a grateful for.

6. Quran Time: The key to sekinah and light to get through everything.Too much to say on this, but Shaykh’s lecture did a waaaay better job! I wrote about it here.

Any workaholics or recovering ones in the house? What do you to detach from work? Will love to learn from you.

---

REFLECTION OF THE WEEK

I am really hooked on this disappointment series by Quran Reflect! I don’t even know how to explain how much I loved last week’s refection. I really, really felt it! It made me reflect on attachments and what it really meant to have full trust in Allah.. I really encourage you to check it out.

Facing disappointment with loved ones. When you hold someone dear in your heart and give them a special place in your life, you invest a part of yourself in them. Your emotions and actions revolve around them, putting them above everything else. However, it is important to remember that the love and attachment we develop towards any one creation of Allah is temporary and subject to change. Only unconditional love for Allah lasts forever. Sometimes, we may not receive the same level of attention or priority from that person as we expected, and this can lead us to feel disappointed- Hammad Fahim

Deciding to become a student of knowledge can be daunting for many. It becomes harder to even consider when you can’t find a lot of examples of people in your environment who have been on the journey. This is why I am so excited about this month’s seeker’s circle! Sister Barakah’s journey is one you can easily relate to. She started in a local Madrasah and has faced her own fair share of challenges. Why did she decide to stick with it? How did she go on even when it was difficult? Come and find out at our next seeker’s Circle, it will be a cosy session to learn and share!

Whenever you hear that Ustadh AbdelRahman Murphy is doing a session, RUSH THERE! If I was asked to describe his talks, I will say relatable, funny and easy to understand. I am so glad , I caught this one, it is such a good talk about Tawakkul and how we can develop it before trials hit.. Loved it!

Have a fabulous week people!

We leave you in Allah's care,

One Of Us at Ibadahplug.