My Flaws, My Only Business

Jumadal Aakhir 24, 1444A.H.

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatuLlah wa barakaatuh,

Trust that you are doing great, striving and thriving.

That hurt. I was at an event recently and as the speaker went on about the parts of the club , I found myself actually feeling a little funny. I ignored it the first time but as the person went on and on, I thought of how this could have been me or even worse, used to be me. This event brought out the most unusual reaction in me, I left, scrambling to add up numbers, plan with extra haste and make up some quick goals. To top it up, I also had thoughts on how the speaker’s presentation could have been kinder and considerate. There was absolutely no reason to make anyone feel insecure. I mean, to make me feel insecure.

It bothered me for a couple of hours and it took multiple Raka’ats and intentional Dhikr to rid my heart (or at least attempt to) of whatever it was brewing. Whipped a checklist of how I felt and all that revolved around the scenario and after some huffing and puffing, I had journaled how I felt and attributed it all to the speaker just expressing his frustrations and maybe even projecting his insecurities! I was over it! But was I though?

Why did it bother so much?

Eight hours later and the feelings were still there; not the pain, the reason of why it bothered me so much, why was I upset? Then it hit me, Subhanallah, I had a project in the works, some parts of it were also exclusive and I had planned to use a similar approach to market it.

This was not about him, it was about me!

I thought about why I had left this project in the past, the arrogance it came with and I realized that if I did not get this jolt, I would have easily gone down the ugly road AGAIN.

I honestly do not know if this is a test or an opening, but it made me remember this Hadith.

Anas reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Blessed is he who is occupied with his own faults over the faults of people.”

Source: Musnad al-Bazzār 6237

Grade: Hasan (fair) according to Ibn Hajar

I was so caught up in my opinion of the speaker’s presentation that I had missed the message for me. If not for Allah’s incredible mercy, the lesson would have just passed me by. Is it not amazing how Allah works? What I interpreted as pain, was actually a gain! I am mindblown!

This was definitely a close shave for me, but I pray that Allah forgives me my many shortcomings and helps to me to perfect my character .

“O Allah, make me better than what they think of me, and forgive me for what they do not know about me, and do not take me to account for what they say about me.”

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I cannot keep calm because Study Arabic Africa has launched their online course! Best news! I am a striving student (the word I wanted to use is struggling, but this sounds more comforting) and I LOVE IT! I always look forward to the classes and the journey is waaaaay easier than I have ever experienced! Not gonna lie, I have tried Arabic schools in this life (May Allah replenish my pocket) and this is MY BEST! Plus, I want to ditch my study buddy, so please, guys, sign up.

The excitement that has come from announcing the Seeker’s Circle has been REAL!!!!! Can’t blame them Ustadh Jubril Alao is a fabulous teacher, I have learnt and I am still learning from him. You should come and listen to him on Sunday (January 22nd, 2023), you really should. We will be covering questions on what is beneficial knowledge, creating a path to knowledge, where we should take knowledge from, how to start and the benefits of seeking knowledge.

We have also opened up sponsorships for sisters who really want to attend the session but cannot afford it, if you will like to sponsor them, please choose any of the options below and indicate ‘Sponsorship’ in the note. May Allah bless you and accept it from you, Ameen.

See you on Sunday, In shaa Allah

We Leave You In Allah’s Care,

One Of Us At Ibadahplug.