Everything was going rosy, infact, there could not have been a more joyful time for me. Life wired right, priorities in order, gratitude in check and then it hit! An unexpected event that could change the course of the structure that would lay the foundation for everything happened.
When it happened, all sorts of thoughts went racing through my head but I somehow managed to rein in my Nafs and take a huge step back. I just hit pause and refused to sink into despair. Y’all must be familiar with my brushes with despair by now..lol.
What happened? You may ask. It doesn't matter because that is not why I am writing this, I am because it is completely normal to face trials in life. As we all must have figured, they differ in size and shape, some come and completely knock the wind off your feet. While others will just be there poking you on the side (A little discomfort but bearable). Then there are cunning ones, presented in the fanciest manners, but have the potential to take you out.
Allah has told us in the Quran:
We will certainly test you with a touch of fear and famine and loss of property, life, and crops. Give good news to those who patiently endure - Quran 2:155. He also says that ‘Do people think once they say, “We believe,” that they will be left without being put to the test?’ - Quran 29 : 2.
Reflecting on these verses, I think we can all agree that if there is one thing that we are never going to escape on earth, they are trials. I have faced so many of them, that I have resolved to draw up something I'd like to call a Trial Checklist which I constantly strive to adhere to. This list , I keep editing based on learnings from classes, reflections on the Qur'an and the aid of my support system. I will make a list of some of the references for this version of the checklist at the end, In shaa Allah; I pray that you find it beneficial too.
Let us break this down into phases, shall we?
Phase One - When The Trial Hits
This is always the hardest part because it comes with a mix of the dampest feelings ranging from shock, to disappointment, hurt or maybe even anger.
What is the first thing I strive to do/say? ‘Inna lillahi Wa Inna Ilayhi Rajihun’ and then any other Dhikr that comes to mind, mostly a mix of Salawat, Istighifar and HasbiyaLlahu Wa Ni'mal Wakeel, in no particular order.
Then I hit pause and battle my Nafs for any possible reaction it may try to drag me to do. I even resist the urge to immediately tell someone, especially if one of the feelings is anger, I almost always regret that decision, so I just keep quiet (or at least try to and let my thoughts run freely).
Phase 2 - Simmering
By this time, I really can be likened to a soup pot that has gone through the firecracker phase and is bubbling because some proteins have just been thrown in to disrupt its peace. At this point, I am processing but have tried to rationalise some bits.
At this point, especially if it is after prayers, I whip out my Dhikr and Dua App (You can download it here) and then recite the Duas I find based on my emotions. They have a whole ton of them, so I just recite the appropriate ones. It is at times like this that I see, first-hand, how soothing Dhikr can be and how truly, In the remembrance of Allah do hearts find peace. I legit begin to see clearer at this point and operate from a point of sense instead of nonsense..lol.
This moves me to the next critical point of action, I whip out my journal and then I analyse the situation, It usually looks something like this:
What happened?
How do I feel about it?
Where is the ease in it?
What am I grateful for?
What can I do about it?
What can I do to avoid the situation next time?
Is it within my control?
It can go on and on, but I make sure I get it all out. I am also careful to remind myself of what is within my control and avoid blaming myself. The idea here is to acknowledge my feelings and how to move from there.
Phase 3: WE MOVE
At this point, I really have accepted reality (not the same for everyone) and then my mind is already making matches with incidents from the life of the Prophet or Prophets, I love how my mind just beautifully makes connections between stuff I have read or watched or listened to. This, for me, is part of Allah’s mercy.
I think it is also important to mention that is not as easy as I have written it, sometimes I have to take a break from work to deal with it, sometimes, I am in prayer and cannot express myself but just rely on Allah knowing my pain, sometimes, I decide that I deserve a treat and I get it. Sometimes, it requires whipping out my candles or my entire aromatherapy set. The most important thing is striving to take it to Allah and not letting it consume me. I also have to tell you how you must leverage the good days and fill yourself up with the best content and knowledge when you can, they do pay off.
Maintenance usually looks like constant prayer and Sujood because there is some kind of pain that we will unfortunately carry for a long time.
My intention in writing this is to get you to prepare for the trials you will face, they will come but they don’t have to consume you. Take them to Allah and if you need a checklist, like I do, please get one.
May Allah grant us all ease.